That Which Sustains Us

By Carol Zernial on May 18th, 2020

For years, my philosophy has always been to do things now, because you never know what the future will hold. We’ve taken vacations, spent the tax return check on a special purchase, and tried to create a lifetime of memories. I told myself that these memories would sustain me when I was very old and might not have these opportunities again. It seemed like a recipe for a life well lived.

As we’ve taken shelter in our homes from COVID-19 and had the time to reflect, I’ve been so grateful for those wonderful memories. I’ve looked back and felt very blessed, and I know I did the right thing. But it isn’t enough. My great aunt Kathryn was right – it is enough to make me grateful, but it isn’t enough to sustain me. At 97, she lived in a residential care facility, depended on a mobile oxygen tank and caregivers, and walked slowly with a walker. But she never sat down and rested on her memories. There was always someone that needed her good thinking and help. There was always someone new to meet. There was always something of interest.

We live life every day. We make choices every day – even if we have fewer choices now or have more hardships. As caregivers and as ordinary human beings, we choose to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. We recognize that someone relies on us. We recognize that we rely on each other at this difficult moment in time. But we are not stagnant. We may be locked in the house, but we are not locked in time.

I am restless, stressed, fearful, grateful, humble in acknowledging that there is very little I can control right now. But I’m also alive and hopeful for another day. I’m thankful for the people in my life and being able to contribute to the well-being of someone else.

What I missed is that which sustains me isn’t inside my head. It isn’t just happy memories. It is a life well lived, but it is also standing up and facing the challenge of today. The world may be smaller, but there are small things that I can do to make that world a better place. Right now, that’s what sustains me.

WellMed Charitable Foundation Executive Director Carol Zernial is a noted gerontologist, radio show host, and emeritus Chair of the National Council on Aging. The non-profit WellMed Charitable Foundation focuses on complimentary programs impacting seniors and family caregivers, including weekly telephone learning sessions, evidence-based classes on stress reduction and more. Find out more at CaregiverSOS.org or toll-free at 1-866-390-6491.